I’ve been thinking a lot about affirmations lately. I have three that I work with every morning as part of my routine for living a more healthy life. They work really well now, but for the longest time I wasn’t getting the results I wanted.

Affirmations get a really bad rap for exactly that reason — they don’t always give us the results we think they should.

Most of the time, however, it’s not the fault of the affirmation process. If we’re not getting the results we want, it’s usually because of the words we’re using to frame our affirmations.

I’m certainly guilty of it, and more often that I’m comfortable admitting to. I’m still learning to really think before I think, and too many times catch myself on the verge of thoughts like “I’m so stupid” or “I’m so fat.” A big one I’m working at reframing now is “I’m so tired” when what I really want to tell myself is “I have plenty of energy to get through the day.”

I’m definitely getting better at making sure only positive thoughts get past the filters, but I gotta say … it’s hard work!

But enough about me.

Here’s a few things I’ve learned about using affirmations that you may find help you to get better results with yours:

1. Affirmations that are not personal to you won’t work very well for you. They need to be expressed in the first person so that your subconscious mind recognizes that this is something it is supposed to go to work on. Always start them with “I” or “My” instead of “you”.

2. Affirmations need to be stated in the “Now”. When I first started, I would always start my statements with “I will”. I’ve since learned that “I am” works much better because the subconscious recognizes “I am” as something being done now, not in the future.

3. Affirmations expressed as a negative will not get you the results you’re looking for. The subconscious doesn’t recognize “not” so instead of acting as an affirmation of changing behaviour, a statement of “I am not” or “I will not” instead serves as a reinforcement for the behaviour that you are trying to change.

There are so many things you can do with affirmations if you word them in the most positive way possible. I’ve had good results since rewriting all of my daily statements along these guidelines. I hope that they work as well for you too.

Do you use affirmations? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

It’s been one of those days where nothing has really gone according to plan. And that got me thinking about obstacles and how we react to them.

I often get the sense that when someone decides to embark on a path to personal growth, they think it’s going to be a walk in the park. You know the kind I mean … all nicely laid out paths, clear and obstacle free. No trees to climb over or rocks to scramble around. Granted, if you can maintain a “walk in the park” attitude while you’re ripping your life apart and remaking it, more power to ya! You are definitely more mentally strong than I am.

For myself, (and I suspect for a lot of people) the process of growing and changing comes with more trials and obstacles than we bargained for. The cool thing I’ve found, though, is that it’s in dealing with these obstacles that you experience the most growth. And how you deal with them really does go a long way to determining how successful you will be in making the changes that you want to make.

Obstacle number one to be dealt with is usually your own mind. The imagination can be a powerful thing when it comes to change. Your mind can either be your worst enemy or your best friend. Allowing the negative side to dominate and fill your conscious mind with thoughts of doubt and failure will have you creating obstacles and reasons to fail.

Along with the negative voices in your own mind, the negative voices of other people around you are also an obstacle to your success on the personal growth trail. The lack of support from friends and family members who are supposed to be supporting you in your dreams and goals can be a real downer. And ditching them is often easier said than done.

Another thing that needs to be ditched is the attachment to past failures. Negative events and memories from your past can become insurmountable obstacles to your future success if you let them. Learning to let go will be a great adventure in growth, but it is so worth it to release all that baggage and really let yourself be free.

So just how do you overcome these obstacles? And yes, they can all be overcome. That’s half the journey!

There are so many ways to get past these, and what works for me may not work for you. You can read books, listen to tapes, to to seminars, and try all the do-it-yourself personal development methods out there. You can also hire a life coach, or go to a therapist if that way suits you better.

Whatever tools you decide to use to overcome your obstacles, the first two steps I would suggest you take are to learn to develop a positive mindset for yourself, and to surround yourself with supportive people who share your goals and aspirations. Visualizing your own success will go a long way to making it a reality, and having a support network around you will give you the kick in the butt you’ll need to stay motivated when the going gets a little rough.

What do you do to help get you past the obstacles in your personal growth?

Yesterday I promised that I’d share my new writing plan with you, and also let you know how you would benefit from it. So here’s the scoop…

One of the ‘light bulb’ moments I had during my weekend cleaning spree was that I need to be writing a whole lot more than what I have been. Research and writing are almost like an addiction for me. If I’m not doing one or the other, I’m just not happy. And I’ve not been doing enough of either in the last month or so.

I’ve been focused too much lately on the negative parts of my life, and it just ain’t working. There’s been too many days where I’ve worried over the bills (and how they’re gettin’ paid); where I should move to, and when I should move; and whether or not I’m even makin’ the right decisions — which usually leads to no decisions being made at all, and even less writing getting done.

So, on Saturday morning, I decided that it was time to quit makin’ everything harder than it has to be, and just get back to the basics of what makes me tick. And what makes me tick (from a workin’ standpoint at least) is researching, reading, writing, and golf (both the playing of and writing about). Since the golf course doesn’t open for another few weeks, there’s lots of time for the rest of the stuff on the list!

What I did was make a brand new plan and change all my goals. Up until now I’ve always had goals that were out of my control. I’d set targets to make X amount of money or get Y amount of subscribers in a certain period of time. And then I’d beat myself up when it didn’t happen, knowing full well that there was no way I could control whether I’d achieve those goals, since they were dependent on other people taking action.

When I finally clued in that the only goals I can realistically achieve are the ones where my actions control the success or failure rate, I rewrote everything in terms of specific, measurable and achievable outcomes. Every goal I have now for the next 90 days depends on me reaching certain numerical targets in terms of quantities of the content I create.

I also realized that for me, as long as I concentrate on the writing, the rest of my life will sort itself out pretty much on its own.

And that’s where you come in…

While I could be perfectly happy writing about topics that interest me (and there’s a lot of them), I’d really much rather spend my time researching and writing the topics that interest you. I’m making it my mission to provide you with the information and resources that you want to ensure your success in your quest for personal growth. And I don’t mean tell me what you want so that I can create products to sell to you (although for the sake of transparency and total honesty here, there might be the odd one because after all, I do have those pesky bills to pay). What I really really want to know is what topics you would like to see me research and write about for you here on this blog. What areas of personal growth can I help you with?

So please, don’t be shy. Leave a comment and let me know what type of content you want to see when you visit here. It’ll be a win-win situation for both of us… You get the information you’re looking for, and I get to spend my time writing something that you can use.