I was writing the “About” page for my personal blog and it struck me that after half a lifetime of being invisible by choice and liking it, that I appear to have made a conscious decision to become more visible this year. For the decade or so that I’ve been online I’ve always preferred to cloak myself in nicknames and persona and not really share too much about myself. I think in ten years there were maybe only ever two photos of me ever posted online and I made sure they came down pretty darn quick when I found out about them. I absolutely detest having my picture taken, so there’s not that many of them out there to begin with. You can imagine my surprise this afternoon when I found myself searching through my recent photos to find one that I felt comfortable sharing. It was definitely a scary moment, but a freeing one too.

The second thing that happened was someone asked me to share my weight loss issues with them. Granted it was a coach and the request was in preparation for an upcoming session so that she would have some background info to work with. But as I was writing out my story for her I realized that it was another case in which I had never verbalized the events that led to my weight gain or how I felt about them. This was the first time since I gained my first five pounds nearly 20 years ago that I had ever allowed my feelings on the issue to be visible to another person.

I’m still not sure where this road is taking me, but wherever it is and however I’m to get there, it really seems that I’m meant to be doing it in a much more visible manner than the one in which I’ve led my life for the last little while. The cool thing about it all is that for whatever reason, I’m not fighting this time. I am totally open and accepting of the changes that are coming my way and that’s a really nice way to be for a change.

This year I am making massive changes in my life. The freedom I feel being divorced almost makes me giddy and the first thing I’m going to do this year is make my name change legal. It’s really exciting to be able to change directions now after being stuck for so long.

So here’s the major areas I’ll be focusing on this year:

1. Creating financial stability for myself. I really want to be able to get off disability by the end of the year. I’ll be talking more about this over at The Introverted Marketer.

2. Making a cross country move before golf season starts. I absolutely intend for this to happen by April 1st.

3. Getting fit and healthy. I fully intend to reach my goal weight by the end of this year. I’ll be blogging about my progress on this front over on The Diabetic Chick’s blog.

4. Overall my goal for this year is to live every day to the fullest and fill it with as much love, laughter, peace, and prosperity as I can. And for the most part, that’s what I”ll be writing about here along with the occasional update.

All in all, I’m looking forward to an incredible year. What about you? What direction is your path taking you this year?

It’s probably pretty telling that not one of us tossed our lighter out with the smokes. Before the end of the night a couple of the group were begging smokes from other party goers. I lasted until dinner at the in-laws the next day and I stopped at bought a pack on the way over because I just knew I wouldn’t make it through the afternoon without one. The longest anyone lasted was about a week and by the end of the first week in January we were all back to smoking.

Flash forward a few years…

It’s the middle of summer and I’m sitting in the emergency room hooked up to the oxygen machine after what I thought was a second heart attack. (No, I didn’t quit smoking after the first one but that’s a story for another day.) On the way out the door after being released, I chucked my smokes in the garbage. That was a little over three years ago, and I haven’t had one since.

What’s the difference? Both decisions were the same — quit smoking cold turkey. Both actions I took were the same — chuck the smokes in the trash. So why was one action successful and the other doomed to failure from the start?

The difference, I’ve learned, is all in your mindset. The new year’s resolution, made in the heat of the moment was done with no sense of commitment, and if I’m honest with myself, no real intention of following through. I wasn’t ready to quit smoking, I knew it, and so I didn’t.

After my visit to the hospital I was ready to quit. I wasn’t making a decision based on what anyone else was doing. I was making a change to my life that would allow me to live longer and more healthfully. Alone in a hostile environment (I really dislike hospitals), my mindset was totally different than it had been on New Year’s Eve among friends.

The point to this is that most new year’s resolutions are doomed to failure from the minute we label them as such. The mindset attached to them is one of short term change. We make resolutions every year, so it’s no biggie if we don’t succeed. We’ll just resolve to do better the next year. At least we tried, right? This type of decision making in what amounts to a spur-of-the-moment manner really doesn’t bode well for making a successful change.

That’s not to say that making changes to better your life is a bad thing. It’s a great thing to want to change what you know isn’t working. Myself and hundreds of other personal development bloggers, authors, and speakers are only too happy to tell you how great it is, and how we love that you’re doing this.

But what you need to ensure your long term success is a plan and a system. By having a clear outcome in mind, and a way to keep yourself on track while you’re making changes, you will stand a much better chance at succeeding. It all starts with your mindset though, and the answer to the question — Am I making a new year’s resolution or a lifestyle change?