Love Yourself Enough to Be Yourself
It’s been apparent to me for a few months now that the biggest thing I need to accomplish in 2009 is to find myself and my purpose for being. I think it’s a goal that most all of us aspire to at some point in our lives, but for many circumstances dictate that life be lived behind a veil of self preservation. It’s been that way for me for a lot of years now, and only in the past year have things started to change for the better. But it all started with a conscious decision on my part to choose life over self preservation.
One thing I’ve noticed since the beginning of this year, is that confirmation that I’m on the right track has been coming at me fast and furious. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t receive some sort of message from somewhere about speaking your truth, finding your voice, the importance of being yourself. The problem for me was that I had withdrawn so far into myself in an effort to hide the effects of years of emotional abuse and neglect, I didn’t have a clue who I was or what I was meant to be doing with my life. If I’m honest with myself, I still don’t have the full picture, but it gets a little clearer with every layer of protection that is peeled away. I wrote on my personal blog that it’s all a big adventure, and with every new person I come into contact with, and every new experience I have that’s certainly proving to be true.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that as I find more bits and pieces of myself, my creativity is opening up again. It’s always been there, simmering below the surface, but my low self esteem didn’t allow me to share it with anyone. I’ve been finding some great stuff lately that I wrote over the past few years that is actually pretty good. Since I’ve been doing the Wonder Woman Challenge, I’ve been playing with photography and graphics a little more and actually posting it for others to see.
What I’m learning is that I have to absolutely be myself, and that it doesn’t matter how many people like me or what the world at large thinks of me. It becomes more clear to me with each passing day that this process of finding myself, whilst I would like it to be a private thing as befits a true blue introvert like me, is meant to be done in a more public sort of way. And although that takes me a lot further outside my comfort zone than I’ve ever gone before, I’m willing to go there on the off-chance that there’s one person in the world that will find their voice by watching me as I try to find mine.
Something else I’ve learned is that life is too short to spend living anyone else’s truth but your own. You have to love yourself enough to be true to yourself. Anything else is unacceptable.
I’d dearly love to hear your comments.
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Tagged with: be yourself • finding your voice • loving yourself • self-esteem
Filed under: loving yourself
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Lena, I am so blessed to have you in my life. I love reading and watching your journey (if only from afar). I see you, a beautiful flower, unfolding. Growth requires us to be outside of our comfort zones. For me 2009 is all about courage … and just like you I am already so far outside of my comfort zone it makes me laugh. I am so proud of you. You are a huge encouragement to me in my own journey along with the others from our Wonder Woman Challenge group.
Keep it up girl!! This is your year!!
Shileen
Lena, I loved your post.. I also have been on a journey from the life I once lived which was full of abuse both emotional and physical… I am so grateful for women like you who are willing to share their journeys with others so that they too will have hope in a future without abuse.. There is life, there is hope, you do have a voice and its beautiful! Not stupid!
Many blessings to you, Shelly