One of the most common setbacks on the path to personal growth is dealing with a fear of the unknown. Growth means that some change is inevitable, and if you’re afraid of not knowing what the changes will bring, it’s really easy to allow yourself to stay stuck. Part of what we need to learn, then, in order to advance our own personal growth is how to conquer this fear.

One of the first steps in conquering fear is to understand exactly what it is, and the effect it has on us. While fear can be defined in many ways, the most straightforward explanation is that it is an emotional reaction to impending danger or unfamiliar situations. We experience this reaction on both psychological and physical levels at the same time. For example, you might feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even terrified at the same time your heart is pounding and you have a hard time catching your breath. If you’re anything like me, your stomach gets all tangled up in knots, and you start feeling cold and clammy as well.

A lot of the fear that we experience as adults can have its roots in childhood experiences. Mental and physical abuse, or unrealistic expectations put on us as children can cause us to develop fears that stick with us through adulthood. Unless we can overcome them, they can — and will — have a significant impact on our lives, especially when it comes to self confidence and the ability to live up to our full potential.

So just how to we overcome our fear change and the unknown that it brings?

One strategy you can use to help overcome fear is to learn to recognized when you are feeling fearful. When you know that what you are experiencing is fear, you are more apt to try and discover what’s causing it. You may need to take a close look at your life experiences in order to find the underlying cause, and that can be a pretty terrifying process on its own.

You really do need to figure out what causes you to feel fearful though, because once you’ve accepted your fear and you know what causes it, you’re ready for the grand finale — facing your fear.

What’s that saying… feel the fear and do it anyways… or something along those lines?

Push yourself outside your comfort zone, and confront your fear head-on. You can stretch your boundaries a little at a time. You don’t have to conquer your fears all in one go. But by taking the steps to overcome your fear of the unknown, you will open yourself up to new experiences and feelings with a sense of freedom you would never otherwise have.

Photo Credit: sxc.hu

It’s been one of those days where nothing has really gone according to plan. And that got me thinking about obstacles and how we react to them.

I often get the sense that when someone decides to embark on a path to personal growth, they think it’s going to be a walk in the park. You know the kind I mean … all nicely laid out paths, clear and obstacle free. No trees to climb over or rocks to scramble around. Granted, if you can maintain a “walk in the park” attitude while you’re ripping your life apart and remaking it, more power to ya! You are definitely more mentally strong than I am.

For myself, (and I suspect for a lot of people) the process of growing and changing comes with more trials and obstacles than we bargained for. The cool thing I’ve found, though, is that it’s in dealing with these obstacles that you experience the most growth. And how you deal with them really does go a long way to determining how successful you will be in making the changes that you want to make.

Obstacle number one to be dealt with is usually your own mind. The imagination can be a powerful thing when it comes to change. Your mind can either be your worst enemy or your best friend. Allowing the negative side to dominate and fill your conscious mind with thoughts of doubt and failure will have you creating obstacles and reasons to fail.

Along with the negative voices in your own mind, the negative voices of other people around you are also an obstacle to your success on the personal growth trail. The lack of support from friends and family members who are supposed to be supporting you in your dreams and goals can be a real downer. And ditching them is often easier said than done.

Another thing that needs to be ditched is the attachment to past failures. Negative events and memories from your past can become insurmountable obstacles to your future success if you let them. Learning to let go will be a great adventure in growth, but it is so worth it to release all that baggage and really let yourself be free.

So just how do you overcome these obstacles? And yes, they can all be overcome. That’s half the journey!

There are so many ways to get past these, and what works for me may not work for you. You can read books, listen to tapes, to to seminars, and try all the do-it-yourself personal development methods out there. You can also hire a life coach, or go to a therapist if that way suits you better.

Whatever tools you decide to use to overcome your obstacles, the first two steps I would suggest you take are to learn to develop a positive mindset for yourself, and to surround yourself with supportive people who share your goals and aspirations. Visualizing your own success will go a long way to making it a reality, and having a support network around you will give you the kick in the butt you’ll need to stay motivated when the going gets a little rough.

What do you do to help get you past the obstacles in your personal growth?

Yesterday I promised that I’d share my new writing plan with you, and also let you know how you would benefit from it. So here’s the scoop…

One of the ‘light bulb’ moments I had during my weekend cleaning spree was that I need to be writing a whole lot more than what I have been. Research and writing are almost like an addiction for me. If I’m not doing one or the other, I’m just not happy. And I’ve not been doing enough of either in the last month or so.

I’ve been focused too much lately on the negative parts of my life, and it just ain’t working. There’s been too many days where I’ve worried over the bills (and how they’re gettin’ paid); where I should move to, and when I should move; and whether or not I’m even makin’ the right decisions — which usually leads to no decisions being made at all, and even less writing getting done.

So, on Saturday morning, I decided that it was time to quit makin’ everything harder than it has to be, and just get back to the basics of what makes me tick. And what makes me tick (from a workin’ standpoint at least) is researching, reading, writing, and golf (both the playing of and writing about). Since the golf course doesn’t open for another few weeks, there’s lots of time for the rest of the stuff on the list!

What I did was make a brand new plan and change all my goals. Up until now I’ve always had goals that were out of my control. I’d set targets to make X amount of money or get Y amount of subscribers in a certain period of time. And then I’d beat myself up when it didn’t happen, knowing full well that there was no way I could control whether I’d achieve those goals, since they were dependent on other people taking action.

When I finally clued in that the only goals I can realistically achieve are the ones where my actions control the success or failure rate, I rewrote everything in terms of specific, measurable and achievable outcomes. Every goal I have now for the next 90 days depends on me reaching certain numerical targets in terms of quantities of the content I create.

I also realized that for me, as long as I concentrate on the writing, the rest of my life will sort itself out pretty much on its own.

And that’s where you come in…

While I could be perfectly happy writing about topics that interest me (and there’s a lot of them), I’d really much rather spend my time researching and writing the topics that interest you. I’m making it my mission to provide you with the information and resources that you want to ensure your success in your quest for personal growth. And I don’t mean tell me what you want so that I can create products to sell to you (although for the sake of transparency and total honesty here, there might be the odd one because after all, I do have those pesky bills to pay). What I really really want to know is what topics you would like to see me research and write about for you here on this blog. What areas of personal growth can I help you with?

So please, don’t be shy. Leave a comment and let me know what type of content you want to see when you visit here. It’ll be a win-win situation for both of us… You get the information you’re looking for, and I get to spend my time writing something that you can use.