I’ve been thinking a lot about affirmations lately. I have three that I work with every morning as part of my routine for living a more healthy life. They work really well now, but for the longest time I wasn’t getting the results I wanted.

Affirmations get a really bad rap for exactly that reason — they don’t always give us the results we think they should.

Most of the time, however, it’s not the fault of the affirmation process. If we’re not getting the results we want, it’s usually because of the words we’re using to frame our affirmations.

I’m certainly guilty of it, and more often that I’m comfortable admitting to. I’m still learning to really think before I think, and too many times catch myself on the verge of thoughts like “I’m so stupid” or “I’m so fat.” A big one I’m working at reframing now is “I’m so tired” when what I really want to tell myself is “I have plenty of energy to get through the day.”

I’m definitely getting better at making sure only positive thoughts get past the filters, but I gotta say … it’s hard work!

But enough about me.

Here’s a few things I’ve learned about using affirmations that you may find help you to get better results with yours:

1. Affirmations that are not personal to you won’t work very well for you. They need to be expressed in the first person so that your subconscious mind recognizes that this is something it is supposed to go to work on. Always start them with “I” or “My” instead of “you”.

2. Affirmations need to be stated in the “Now”. When I first started, I would always start my statements with “I will”. I’ve since learned that “I am” works much better because the subconscious recognizes “I am” as something being done now, not in the future.

3. Affirmations expressed as a negative will not get you the results you’re looking for. The subconscious doesn’t recognize “not” so instead of acting as an affirmation of changing behaviour, a statement of “I am not” or “I will not” instead serves as a reinforcement for the behaviour that you are trying to change.

There are so many things you can do with affirmations if you word them in the most positive way possible. I’ve had good results since rewriting all of my daily statements along these guidelines. I hope that they work as well for you too.

Do you use affirmations? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

For me, one of the first steps I had to take in experiencing positive personal growth was to improve my self esteem. It’s something that I still have to work on every single day. I’m very thankful for the tips and advice I’ve received along the way to get me to the point where I feel good enough about myself to actually post the articles I write. (You should see my filing cabinet … it’s filled with articles and ideas for things I wrote and never had the self-confidence to do anything with at the time.)

Here are just a few of the tips that have helped me get to where I am today…

1. Don’t worry about what other people think of you. This was my biggie, and still is something I have to work on every single day. Chances are the people you are worrying about aren’t even thinking about you. And it’s such an energy drain to worry about something that’s out of your control.

2. Learn to like yourself. Another big one I had to really learn how to deal with. When you have low self-esteem, it’s a common occurrence to beat yourself up every single day. More than once a day if you’re anything like I was. This is another big energy drain that you want to get rid of as soon as you possibly can.

3. Practice positive thinking. If you’re used to feeling bad about yourself, that cloak of miserableness is really easy for everyone else to see. You will push away the very people you want to be around because your negative attitude will begin to affect them too. It takes some conscious effort to practice positive thinking at first, but believe me… once you get started it’s so much easier to be positive about things, and you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel about yourself.

4. Stop being a perfectionist. Waaaaay easier said than done! But you don’t have to be perfect… you just have to be you! Let me repeat that with emphasis… You Just Have To Be YOU! I spent years of my life trying to be someone I wasn’t and trying to live up to other people’s visions of what they thought I should be. When I stopped, it was amazing how much my self esteem improved because the only person I really had to worry about making feel good was myself.

5. Play nice with others. Just because I said you only have to worry about making yourself feel good that doesn’t mean you can be mean to everyone else. Think about that universal law that says what goes around comes around, you get what you give; like attracts like… there are a thousand ways to say it, and everyone of them means the same thing. Be as nice to others as you would like them to be to you. You don’t want people to insult you or put you down, so don’t do it to them. And remember my mama’s favorite saying… If you can’t say nuthin’ nice, then keep your dang mouth shut!

Raising your self-esteem can be done, if you’re willing to do the work. I won’t lie and tell you it’s easy because it sure wasn’t for me. But I’m living proof it can be done, and I hope these tips help you to get to where you want to be too.

As always comments and feedback are welcome.

Making a New Start on the Path to Personal Growth

It sounds cliché, but the path to personal growth really does begin with a single step. What many people don’t realize is that the first step isn’t an actual physical step. It’s the mental preparation that you do before you start a new personal development journey that determines how successful you are in making the changes you desire.

Having an optimistic mindset means letting go of any baggage from your past that could be holding you back. I realize that it’s hard to let go of some things — heck, even I’m still hanging on to things from the past that would be better put to rest — but the whole purpose of this journey you’re about to embark on is to grow. And it’s harsh to say, but some things really are better off left in the dust as you move forward.

With that being said, I want to give you three tips today that you can put to use on your path.

1. Be kind to yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes, but only a fool lets those mistakes stop him/her from trying again. Don’t be afraid to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. (Yes, I swiped that line from the old song ‘Pick Yourself Up’.) Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up over what went wrong. Be kind and encouraging to yourself as you make a fresh start.

2. Retool your plan.

No matter how hard we try for the perfect plan, it just ain’t gonna happen. Life gets in the way and sometimes the goals we set for ourselves just aren’t reasonable. Many a plan has failed because its creator over-estimated what they could accomplish at the time. Don’t be afraid to sim;plify to get your desired results. Try setting three goals instead of thirty, and you’ll find it’s easier to achieve them because it’s easier to focus on them. When you complete one, add another to the list and before you know it, all thirty of the goals on your original list will be met and you’ll be creating another new set things to accomplish.

3. Take Action Now!

It’s important to get moving once you make the decision to move. The last thing you want to do is procrastinate at taking the first step. The more you wait and watch the days go by, the harder it gets to start and the more depressed you begin to feel. Don’t worry if your first few actions don’t work quite the way you intended. You’ll know before long if you’ve made a totally wrong move. And if that happens, you simply start over at step one — that would be dusting yourself off, in case you forgot already — and repeat the process. After all, your plans aren’t set in stone — or at least they shouldn’t be — and you might just have stumbled upon an awesome opportunity that you never would have if you hadn’t taken action.

So there you have it, an easy three step plan for starting down the path to personal growth. I look forward to sharing a few steps with you and hearing about your journey. (Hint: that means don’t be shy — leave a comment!)